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15 Horse Jokes To Share With Your Friends

You'll be the funniest gal at the barn with these up your sleeve!

June 27, 2017

If you’re horse obsessed like us, than you enjoy talking about horses 24/7. Some of your non-horsey friends might get bored hearing about your latest tack purchase, so how about telling them a funny joke, a horse joke of course! These 15 jokes will have you and your friends rolling in laughter!

  1. What do you feed a race horse? Fast food.
  2. Why can’t horses dance? They have two left feet.
  3. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!
  4. What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor!
  5. Why did the man stand behind the horse? He was hoping to get a kick out of it.
  6. Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
  7. What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
  8. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
  9. What disease was the horse scared of getting? Hay fever!
  10. Why did the man name his horse Flattery? Because it got him nowhere!
  11. A man was driving into town and he fell in a big ditch in the middle of the road. A farmer came up and said, “My horse Sebastian can pull you out,” the man said ok and the farmer got Sebastian. When Sebastian was hooked up, the farmer said, “Pull Ranger! C’mon Benny! Lets go Delilah!!!!” Then the farmer said, “Pull Sebastian, pull!” When the car was out of the ditch, the man said, “I have a question, why did you say the wrong name three times?” And the farmer said, “Because Sebastian is blind, if he knew the other horses weren’t pulling, he wouldn’t even try…”
  12. What kind of horse walks around at midnight? A nightmare.
  13. Once upon a time there was a rich man that was driving past a farm, he looked over and saw a beautiful stallion standing in the field. The rich man thought, ‘Wow I gotta have him’ so he pulled into the farm’s entrance. He found the owner and said, “I want that horse out yonder in that field. How much do you want for him?” The farmer said, “He don’t look to good.” “Nonsense” said the rich man “I’ll pay you $1000 for him.” “But he don’t look to good,” said the farmer. The rich man sighed and said, “$2000 dollars is my final offer.” The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. One week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said, “Darn you, you sold me a blind horse!” Then the farmer smiled and said, “I TOLD YOU HE DIDN’T LOOK TOO GOOD!!!!”
  14. What did one horse say to the other horse? The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
  15. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? With Southern Horspitality.

Some of these jokes may be a little too corny for their own good, but they’re definitely worth a laugh or two. Do you have any favorite horse jokes? Please share!

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